subtlety impracticality: Couples' counseling and verbal abuse??

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Couples' counseling and verbal abuse?? - Talk About Marriage

Today, 05:13 PM ? #1 (permalink)

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Join Date: Nov 2012

Posts: 1

Hi all,

I'm new here, just looking for some perspectives/ advice on this. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly four years now and we have a 2 year old son. For the past two years he's been verbally abusive toward me and has refused or has been unable to acknowledge it. Usually when I bring it up, I'm "imagining it" or I'm "being too sensitive" or "can't take a joke." It ranges from criticisms of how I parent our child, how I do housework, how many hours I work, etc. to full on screaming or yelling and calling me names or stupid, sometimes in front of our son or in public. I know that this has been a pattern for him, in past relationships. He's finally in the past few days been able to admit that this isn't right and asked me flat out if he's abusive. I was thinking, like, welcome to the party I just recently started going to counseling with the intention that we would go together and work on this, as we have a family. What I'm wondering is, would couples' counseling even be productive for us in this situation? I feel like he at least would benefit more from individual therapy, but that's not something he's willing to do. I'm at a point where I don't feel that I can or should continue this relationship unless there is a significant change as the quiet times between outbursts are just not worth it to me anymore and this is not what I want for my son. Any thoughts or experiences on this? Thanks much in advance...